09
Jun
09

Louisiana Bones and Darlene Daring in the temple of gloom

Bones what are you doing daring said.  Looking at these gliphs said Bones. Thats graffiti. I think these tell the location of the temple of gloom. You made that up said daring.alright from here on in we are going to find that temple. Whatever. (the next day) Bones your never going to find that temple. shh i found a clue. That’s a Twinkie rapper bones. i think i deciphered it, it says Timblton said bones. what. that’s three blocks away get in my car.(three blocks later) Okay there’s nothing here can i go home. no bones said i found another clue this one seems to be what they drank out off [takes a drink] actually that’s a pooper scooper with rain in it but i don’t care knock yourself out. wait there it is the temple of gloom. where i don’t see it here take a drink of this. No. but its the only way to see the lost temple of gloom. To be continued

08
Jun
09

Prince Mario

Albert: What ill is name be.

Mary:is name ill be Stuart.

Albert:Uh maybe i shouldn’t let you drink anymore

Mary: oh come un i only ad one pint….. (mary stumbles to the ground)

Albert: ya and me name be Diego

[the next day Mary woke up and decided to name him Mario]

Mario: Mum Where in the world are me tights

Mary: they be under you blankets dear

Mario: There’s piss on them mum

Mary: there be some extra one from when you be a youngen

Mario: Nevermind

(Mario goes to school)

Teacher: today we will be learning to fight against swords

Mario: we get to use swords

Teacher: oh no that would be to…………(sniffs around)what be that god aweful smell

Mario: i Don’t know

Teacher:anyway we ill be learning to fight against swords by writing a note

Student #1: What

Teacher:You know how they say it the pen is mightier than the sword

Student #2: Ya but a pen be useless in a real fight sir

Teacher: oh fine whoever wants to fight with for real go outside and talk to the battle instructor.

(everyone ets up and leaves)

Battle instructor:Alright everyone pair up and start fighting

(mario partners up with his friend Bob)

Bob: i won’t go easy on you Mario

Mario: lets go

(Bob swings his stick and mario steps back it missis then he jumps and hits bob in the head)

Bob:ow!!

To be continued.

04
Jun
09

statue people

once upon a time there was an old lady who went by the name of Gregory and she liked to talk to these two statues who sat on a bench in north Mary park they never did anything except listen to her but one day the statues got fed up with her so they came alive and threw her in a lake(don’t worry she can swim(kinda(not really))) any way the statues realized that they could walk and move but they couldn’t bend so it made it hard for them to walk then out of nowhere they were both crushed it was a web that came out of a cat-spider thing and it was fighting a mouse-fish(don’t ask how its on land)the c-s t jumped 80 feet into the air and landed on the m-f and it got knocked out then the cat-spider thing swung away never to be seen again END

03
Jun
09

Headstone

I liooked at the dates on the headstones and my heart froze. The headstone with my name on it said i was going to die in 2010 january 1st just then I thought to myself I can do whatever i want i ran out of the cemetary and once i was all the way out i saw a bank being robbed so i ran up to the building went inside and sissy kick them in the back of the heads. everyone started to cheer  until i ran away with all the money i got shot at 8 times and they all missed. after, i went and bought the whole taco bell franchise and i replaced it with a rhino witch was not a good idea because it destroyed all of my taco bell stores and hit sevral children in the process so i went to attack it with my machete but it knoocked me out. A few days later i woke in a bed in the middle of nowhere THE END

28
May
09

the frankinsucker

once upon a time there were two little kids named Jake and Jillian and they liked to stay home and watch t.v. but one day there mom kicked them out of the house and told them not to come back until they had an adventure then Jake looked at Jillian and Jillian looked at jake and they got up and walked into the forest that was right next to there house for some reason. While they were walking through the forest a big bad fox popped out of the bushes and tried to eat them but jack pulled out a bat and hit the fox with all his might. The fox barely felt it, then it started taking steps towards them but out of nowhere the fox was gone and in his place was a frankinsucker he was a mix between Frankenstein and a vampire so jake and jillian stood up and ran away .THE END

20
May
09

Cat-spider thing©(C-S T©)

Once a cat and a spider decided to have a baby and it came out with six eyes and a sideways mouth and its fur is as sticky as a spiders web and it likes to eat little dog’s. one day it was walking down the street with his new collar and it gets stolen by a fish taco then suddenly it was gone the cat-spider thing© set up a web earlier and it got stuck and the cat-spider thing© ate it and got his collar back but then a Dog-Fly© came and hit the cat-spider thing© with a crowbar and the C-S T© got mad and pulled out a Alien energizing hypodromatic kelpto ray gun and shot the dog-fly© and it disintegrated and then the C-S T© went home and told his spider mom she flipped out and whoever just read this story wasted there time and should not waste there time reading anymore THE END

15
May
09

Football Bob

Hi my name is Bob at a very young age i fell in love with football but my school wouldn’t let me join the football team it wasn’t because i was bad or to small or anything like that it was because i was born without arms or legs(Don’t ask how i typed this). My favorite player was Niel Patrick Harrison but for some reason people thought that was weird. Nobody else liked him i could never think of a reason why no one would like him but i guess I’ll never know. One day my dad took me to a football game and my favorite team was playing the Oakland raiders and they were losing by 369 points and it was the fourth quarter with a minute left on the clock but i knew they would catch up and win. Sadly they didn’t then out of nowhere i was kicked onto the field, i looked around and saw the Chargers running towards me so i started to wobble away but they were to fast but out of nowhere a was oicked up and set on the sideline i couldn’t tell who did it but i knew who it was so I got up and left tall and proud.

06
May
09

the tale of Terelapagosiphanelyrocoposouris

there is a boy named Doro gato mi and he is 15 but he is being bullied by a 93 year old guy  who whacks him with his cane. Doro gets mad and goes and learns karate and fights the old guy and wins so he thinks he’s cool and starts to beat up old people  but the old man was a grandpa of another kid name Alex Terelapagosiphanelyrocoposouris and he gets mad at him and goes to fight Doro but when he got there he was already lost to another person so he runs outside into the sunset and feels angry so he gets on his flying cat and rides away and hits a guy that was riding by on his giant snail and they both start to fall and the hit the ground they get up and Alex Terelapagosiphanelyrocoposouris asks for the other guys name he says it Oploplo Terelapagosiphanelyrocoposouris and they relize there twin brothers and they go and fly away to find the guy that beat the other boy up. THE END

30
Apr
09

Play:Jack, Harry, and Sanchez

Jack is a 80 year old man that goes to collage because he had to go to war where he lost an eyeball two tows eight fingers and two arms. Harry is a 3 year old that runs a bakery that he inherited from his brother’s cousins roommates sisters half-brother twice removed great great grandfather. Sanchez is a 12 year old going to collage he got really smart because a truck carrying toxic waste was driving by and superman through a cat at it for scratching him witch made the truck fall and hit sanchez giving a superbrain mutant power. jack and sanchez walk into Harry’s bakery. sanchez pulls out a revolver and shoots Harry in the chest. Harry is killed instantly.and then Jack emerged through the door and tripped over Harry. Jack was not able to go to collage because he was sentanced to 365 years. sanchez cried all night and didn’t eat anything for a week. sanchez has been planning his escape for the past few 2 weeks. Then harry comes back alive and shoots sanchez. Jack: Wow that was pointless.

29
Apr
09

poem:sorting through grandmas attic after her passing

Dust drifts down in the lazy sunlight filtering through shuttered windows. The first thing he found was a sepia tone picture of a smiling young gentleman. Then he realized the young gentleman was really his mom. Then somebody told him it was for a Halloween party. He didn’t believe that so he looked through his mom’s medical records. It showed to reveal his mom had a sex change he was baffled. Then no one would like the he/she and the dad cried. He fell in love with her. IT WAS HIS MOM!!!. AAAAHHHHHH!!! inbreeding! His friends were disgusted so they shunned him and shipped him to Mexico where he a to many Tacos And killed the taco bell dog over a burrito and three tacos. then he farted his way to the moon(somethings happening up on the moon just wait and see) THE END for now




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